My brain has been introduced to new information that hasn't been given the proper time to mentally digest. My view on certain people has changed dramatically.
I have spent the past few days roaming around New York City with Lee. Our spontaneous trip had no actual goals or agendas, and I enjoyed it that way. We drank at many bars (Beauty Bar, Duplex, Dallas BBQ, Sharlene's, Down the Hatch, among more) and stopped at some pretty strange places. An infinitely better trip that my last.
I found a note in a piece of furniture while I was cleaning out my apartment. It said "I'm sorry," and it must have been written by June before she moved out. Nine times out of ten, when finding something as "symbolic" and cliche as this (when referencing a past relationship), I find it upsetting. Being completely turned off of her, I felt irritated and almost found it humorous. We should both feel shitty about how we dealt with our situation from beginning to end, but I don't regret it as much as I should. I constantly view the negative times far more than the good.
While wondering the streets of East Village, I met a street poet named Donald Green. Lee bought some of his hand written work for $2 and I talked with him for over an hour. I love one of his poems. This is called "Blue Joy."
Out of gray
sky
came a bright blue
bird.
He sat upon my window sill
and for an instant-no
more than a ray of sun
in the whirl of time-we
stared at one another.
He then lifted his blue wings
and gently returned to the gray.
I combed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I dressed.
I then had my morning lemon
and went off to work.
And when the gray had
gone to yellow and from
yellow to a soft mellow
brown, I gathered my
things and rushed home.
I wanted to see if he had
come again with evening time.
Why?
I could not really say.
Perhaps, this is what
loneliness can come to.
