Likes

When the last living thing
Has died on account of us,
How poetical it would be
If Earth could say,
In a voice floating up
Perhaps
From the floor
Of the Grand Canyon,
"It is done.
People did not like it here."

-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

I'm reading "Cat's Cradle."

Accessing the Inacessible

I have an insatiable desire to know a person's true intention. To know motives and reasons behind a person's words and actions interests me greatly. Rarely is the truth entirely evident on the surface of a conversation or interaction. As a result, I often find myself poking and jerking social situations toward irregular (and sometimes uncomfortable) paths. Especially when forming new relationships, honestly in this respect is mightily powerful. When such a strong foundation is built, what is built upon it is limitless. Lies will lead to lying about lies and lying about lying about lies, creating an intricate and unnecessary web of deceit.

I consumed 3 caplets of Tylenol PMs and am now feeling the effects. I will come back to this later.

79%

It seems as if I'm telling everyone a different story. I want to move to the bay area of California. I want to be unfamiliar with places and people. I want to write in a comfortable and clear environment. I want to take classes and learn Spanish.

Being the naive and hopeful person that I am, staying in Boston creates the opportunity for me to correct any relationships that went sour. I am in no way bitter toward any of my former friendships or girlfriends, but am eager to shed some positive light on them before they completely vanish. I sincerely miss the random, meaningless moments in a day:
- Driving around Hyde Park in my Volvo Stationwagon with Lee in the front seat babbling about something ridiculous and June laughing in the back seat. Fuck, I miss that.
- Sitting, drinking at Razzy's with John, June, Lee, Darrick, and whoever else we come across that night. Watching everyone make a drunken fool of themselves at karaoke.

The idea of sticking around is becoming increasingly stale. I'm too comfortable here. If I do stay, I envision myself giving biased advice to friends and girlfriends past. I see myself wasting time, and getting nothing accomplished.

To those dissatisfied with their lives thus far, I know that a spontaneous leap into the unknown is not always the answer. For some, it's working 50 hour weeks, drinking and smoking yourself retarded, having meaningless sex, and filling space. Not me. To me, what it all comes down to is this. When it's all said and done, I want to look back on my life here with a big fucking smile on my face.

OOT

I plan to write a fair amount during my stint at my next place of residence, and may even get a part-time job at a bar or restaurant.

Playing poker on a "professional" level sometimes leads me down paths that I wouldn't normally travel. I'm forced to lend money to irresponsible people, and chase people around for it. (The following sentence has been removed.)

I checked out a bar called Penguin Pizza over in Brigham Circle yesterday. The beer list is deceiving because they run out of product on a regular basis. I had a Dogfish 120, a Magic Hat Summer Whacko, and a Brooklyn Lager. Enjoyable.

After, I went with a friend to check out my buddy Mark's set down the street at a bar called Curtins. I disliked everything about the bar, but had a good time nonetheless. I hung out at a house in Roxbury after the show and did nothing.

Cheers

With All Due Respect

My words lead me toward undesirable attention. If I'm placed in a sudden, gloomy relationship, I am going to know how to handle the shit out of it.

I have been told by 3 women in my life that I am an easy person to love. I was so quick to take it as a compliment.

Today and In February

I sent out countless drunken text messages to those fortunate enough to receive them. Some were ugly. Some were beautiful. Apologies regardless.

Last night, I joined some friends for a karaoke night over by Symphony Hall. The bar is called Our House East.

HIGHLIGHTS:
Chief sings"Thong Song"
John confesses that Soundgarden songs covered by women make him weak in the knees.
I hate Soundgarden.
The drop dead gorgeous bartender who took shots with us and charged us for about 1/3rd of our drinks.

I ended up making it home in one piece, only to leave for the downtown area around 3AM. I hung out there and hit up a diner on my home. (South Street Diner)

I'm finally taking initiative toward finding a new home for next month (June). Ideally, I want to stick around the Boston area until I collect all the money that is owed to me, but it may not work out that way. I have an application pending for a studio in Brooklyn and am keeping my fingers crossed.

The idea of hooking up with random girls does not appeal to me very much. For such an emotion-filled action to be done without emotion freaks me out, and seems vaguely ironic. A few months back (February), a girl who I had never been close with, but knew, kissed me. At the time, I was in a relationship and it was speculated that we were breaking up. She was a mutual friend that I met through my then girlfriend. I know this topic seems bland, but I felt that her reason for kissing me was to hurry along the process of separating by telling her what I did. Partially, I feel guilty for it, although I'm told that I shouldn't. It's interesting to dissect a person's true intentions after the fact. Amen.

Exclamation Points Come Off As Tacky.

In high school, I was terrified and intimidated by girls. Although I'm not entirely sure why, I can honestly say that I was scared of taking part in a serious relationship. Being aware that high school relationships are almost always heart-breakers, I was overly cautious. Now, I feel very differently.

Toward the end of my high school career, I met a girl from two towns away. Her name was Lee and I spent almost every night talking with her for three months. I was infinitely attracted to her on so many levels, and loved to listen to her talk about her art work. During school, art was never an interest of mine, but I enjoyed listening to her talk because she did so in such a unique way. The idea of love was so new and boundless to me at this point, and it was ironic how naive I was. Years later, I was 99.99999% that this was the girl I wanted to marry and grow old with. To this day, I owe so much of my growth to her and am infinitely thankful to have been part of her life for so long.

As my relationship abruptly ended with Lee, I felt as if my legs were pulled out from under me. I hadn't been single since high school, and felt down and alone. To postpone my raw emotion, I spent a lot of time with someone that I considered to be a good friend. Her name was Caitlin and we had known each other for a long time. To my knowledge, we had been attracted to one another for a while, but never really discussed it. Partially, I wanted female companionship and someone to spend time with. Anything done beyond that was beyond cool with me, but wasn't expected. Our minds operated very differently and we didn't truly relate on very many levels. I am exceedingly analytical to absurd and unhealthy degrees and she is more of a free-spirited, don't-read-too-into-things type.

While spending 3 days hanging out with Caitlin and wasting time being 21 and attracted to each other (?), I noticed a drastic change in attitude with my roommate and important friend, June. At this point, she had been an extremely close friend of mine. I fantasized about her in such a way that I felt guilty. Very guilty for a long time. Our relationship was eerily platonic, and we were both comfortable with that. To this day, I feel that we were both conscious of being attracted to one another. Fast forward two weeks, and our relationship becomes extremely physical as we corner ourselves into dating. It was really cool for a while. We spun ourselves into an oblivion, and alienated almost all of our friends by being together. Although we weren't sharing a similar outlook on the future, we shared a lot of similar interests.

The relationship was fucking destructive, among many other things. We were up each other's asses permanently. For reasons that I deemed plausible, I did not trust her and it ultimately ended the relationship. Also, we are both crazy. I miss her company pre-dating and she misses mine, too. I also miss bowling and staying in at night. A lot.

I have had extremely unique situations as of late, and have learned to take it all with a grain of salt. Being a single adult is hilarious.

I wrote an unabridged, full story. Decided on posting the cliffnotes.

Also, none of the people mentioned in this post are on speaking terms with me. Obviously!

The Truth is Exactly This

Whatever it is you think you are, you aren't. A good friend, unique, well-read, good-looking, or smart. Well now you know. I hate to be the one to bear such bad news. I know it hurts to hear, but it's true. You don't mean anything to anyone but me. And even I think that you're blinded by conceit. So now you know. Free beer and basement shows don't mean you've made it. It's what you do, not who you were, or what you wear, or where you've been. So do something. Whoever you think is watching you dance from across the room, they aren't. If anything, they feel sorry for you because you try so hard. I know it hurts to hear, but it's the truth, so you might as well hear it from a friend. You're a has-been that never was. And I know it's mean to say but it's something I've been meaning to say to you for a while. You're a has-been that never was or will be.

17?

Sometimes, when I dig my heels too deep into the ground, I find it a lot easier to adapt to my surroundings, when the choice with less potential consequences (lifting my feet and moving) is clearly the better of the two. Not necessarily a "right" or "wrong" decision, but the one with rational consequences. Defining each decision as right or wrong is rarely possible. I find comfort in having control and being the most aware, and at the same time, become dependent on people that also make decisions with significantly negative consequences. Not always the easiest type to trust.

A friend made a joke that I am capable of falling in love with a lamp. Not true. Also, it is a rip off of an Anchorman quote. Do not like. Within the same day, a joke broke questioning whether I'm going to stay single for longer than 48 hours or not.

I shaved my head today.

I'm listening to a lot of Verse, Deerhunter, and Broken Social Scene.

Girl: I'm the type of girl that wants to know if my ass looks big in jeans, or something.
Guy: Okay, well I am the type of guy that's not an idiot, and will always lie.

+more

Dear Self,

Life is too short to deal with superficial depressive robots. Que lastima!

Cheers,
Richard

1111111111115

After a week of convulsive sleep, having both beautiful and horrifying dreams (in the short span of time where I actually did sleep 2+ hours), I realized that my energy is primarily focused on activities that limit my creativity. I know, for most of you, that I'm speaking far too vaguely for anything of substance to be derived from this. Follow me to paragraph 2.

Surrounding myself with constant negativity and repetition has rewired my brain into operating less creatively, and in a more "cookie cutter" way. I hate it. However, I've been introduced to an unconventional way of communicating with people in a more efficient and honest manner. My relationships are stronger than ever and my heart is growing exponentially inside of relationships, activities, goals, and risks taken. I love what I love, and to tell me that I shouldn't jump into things whole-heartedly is fucking ridiculous. You should have a CONCRETE perception of love and reality before you pull the trigger on criticism.

Don't ever cloud and smother emotion. Don't ever disguise it and don't ever try to forget it. Love is relative, and to have never experienced love in a literal sense, will forever effect your perception of it.

Love,
Richard

As of Late

Two nights ago, I made the mistake of drinking whiskey the entire duration of the night, having only consumed a very tiny amount of red pepper hummus. After spending some time at Dodge St, Major MacGleash's, and The Lobster Shanty, I was truly wasted and incoherent, making a complete fool of myself to all that I tried to contact in that time. I recall waking up in an unfamiliar bedroom at my friend's house over by Salem State. I also recall driving with a massive hangover.

After sleeping for a few hours, I headed back to the homeland to gather myself. I went out to by an ipod and an effects pedal shortly after. Rather than catch up on some sleep, I decided to play with my new toy, having completely forgotten that I agreed to drive out to the North Hampton/Amherst area for a show. I picked up my friend Mark, and we ate some nasty mussels and found some pretty cool bars. The show was a disaster, but it was a good time. There were a few dilemmas but we pulled through.

After this night, I am now an advocate for 5 hour energy drinks.

If all goes accordingly to plan, I am supposed to head to MassArt today to help set up a gallery, sleep my face off, and wake up crazy early to check out a couple of apartments in the Williamsburg area of Brooklyn.

Freestyle

I fell in love with a ship. A vessel with at least twenty holes. Yeah, but she still floats! I have an ill gash on my nose and an ill sickness effecting my immune system and ability to breathe at an optimal rate. I'm taking a lazy approach toward playing poker, at the moment. I'm making tentative plans to move to the left coast, unless I find something that keeps me here, which is increasingly likely with each day. I'll miss my family too much, yadda yadda. I don't know what the overall chances of me leaving are. I like Providence a lot, especially the Olneyville area, but I don't think I want to live there. I'm writing a lot (pen to paper) and loosely basing a short story on my experiences in the poker community, as well as important relationships in my life. None of this makes sense, and I'm not deleting any of it. I was supposed to leave 10 minutes ago. I bought aviator glasses and am forcing myself to like them. Team FUN pulled through with a commendable 4th place finish at a trivia night in the theatre district, bringing home a cooler with a gallon of water and a user version of the movie "Little Nicky." This is a gigantic, ugly looking block of text. I lost my debit card and don't have time to cancel it or look for it, but I have time to write a ridiculous blog post. Why the fuck do I even have a blog? 20-25 people read this on a regular basis and no one comments. I don't even want comments. You don't even know that I know you read it. Technology is siiiick, know that. "Know That To Know This" by Themselves is a sick track on their new album The Free Houdini and features Aesop Rock. I'm stopping at the store, buying a carton of orange juice, and embarking on my journey.

Providence

I have been to and from Providence twice in the past 4 days. I enjoyed myself a lot both times. Sewn Leather and DJ Dog Dick performed at a (very well hidden and beautiful) artist loft in the Olneyville area of Providence. After driving through a parking lot of old carnival rides and poorly maintained carnival equipment, we walked into what looked like an abandoned mill building (i.e. Lowell, MA or Manchester, NH) to find Boystown 2. The temperature inside was close to exact in relation to the temperature outside. The set up was unlike anything I'd ever seen before, and it was cool to see that these types of places are able to exist. If anyone has the opportunity to see Sewn Leather perform, I very highly recommend checking it out. If I had to describe it: hardcore influenced synth punk.

My life is oozing with opportunity right now in all aspects and I have never felt so limitless. I'm eager to explore my options all at once, but have learned to deal with things in a more patient manner. For so long, I spent time on making hopeless situations more positive, rather than embracing things actually worth my time and energy. I'm currently at a healthy understanding of myself and at the cost of things that I once considered important.

Fifteen songs on repeat, in this order:
The Decemberist's Valerie Plame
Elvis Perkins in Dearland's Shampoo
Belle and Sebastian's Sleep Around the Clock
Grandaddy's Now It's On
Themselves' Them's My People
Robert Francis' One by One
Say Anything's Woe
Stephen Malkmus' Baltimore
Cause for Alarm's In Search Of
Lou Reed's Satellite of Love
El-P's Smithereens
Blitzen Trapper's Furr
The Shins' We Will Become Silhouettes
Midlake's Roscoe
Jay-Z's Blue Magic

Thoughts on Humans, Love, Humans Loving, and Humans Thinking About Loving

It is truly disheartening to realize that the foundation of everything you believe in is paper thin. Does the guilt lie in wanting more stability or realizing that the former sense of stability that you once obliviously had never truly existed? It took me an embarrassing amount of time to understand these very simple concepts:

- One can only think so far. Or, as a direct quote, "You can only think as far as you can." If you're capable of a certain thought in a given social situation, it does not necessarily mean that it can be accurately portrayed to any given person. Understanding perspectives of people other than yourself, while checking your ego at the door, is what separates very smart people from geniuses. For example, identifying that people view you differently than you view yourself, based on the sample of information known about you. It seems like a very simple concept, but this can be understood on many different levels, in my opinion. This leads me to my next thought...

- True happiness and true love is all relative to what you know. It is well within the realm of possibility to have never experienced love in a lifetime, but believe you did. The opposite is also true. Don't expect an Arabian prince to sweep you off your feet with his magic carpet and travel through the warm, starry night. Love is not anything like "Alladin." Please fucking realize that.

I would like to use this section to congratulate you on making it this far into my post. I'm going to finish this later.

Being Healthy is Difficult

At the beginning of the month, I had decided to take an indefinite break from poker. I feel like there are a lot of reasons why I came to this decision. Ultimately, I realized that whether I was running well or poorly effected my mood to a significant degree. For example, if I were to play a 2 hour session in the morning and lose $1,500, I would be in a bitter and unhappy mood. The opposite is true as well.

I understand that most people have jobs that are mentally bothering while "off the clock." From a poker player's point of view, there is a saying that you should try to "take the emotion out of the game and not be results oriented." My argument is that it's only natural to feel a certain way in any given situation and to mentally block it out is impossible.

If I do decide to quit completely (which is unlikely), I would look at these past 4 months as a success, having won 30k in that time. Ideally, coming back to a clean slate and moving down in stakes a month from now will help immensely.

Never in my life have I had more free time on my hands. I have a few ideas as to what I can do with it. First and foremost, I'd like to get in shape and get some use out of my YMCA membership. The thought of having a personal trainer crossed my mind, but I'm way too stubborn to have some gym rat yelling at me to "GO HARDER" (something I witnessed today), although it would definately hurry along the process of losing weight. Putting together a healthy diet is difficult for me, but stringing together an efficient list of gym tasks is impossible. I have been active in the Health and Fitness sub forum on twoplustwo but it only helps so much. I could mimic someone's routine, but it obviously won't fit my needs perfectly.

Ideas are constantly flowing through my head for a short story of the life of a typical poker player, elaborating on social experiences and glorifying actual events that I took part in. As I began to put the pen to paper, I discovered "Broke: A Poker Novel." Brandon Adams, a Harvard professor and pro poker player whom I have played with a couple times, wrote a fictional story on the life of a poker player. It hurt my confidence at first, but my ideas are far different than the ones that he portrays in his book.

Studying a more robotic form of poker, where a correct decision is usually clear and not dependant on information gained in previous matches. At Heads Up Limit Holdem, the player pool is very small and it is necessary to make certain plays specific to a certain player's tendencies. When playing Sit-n-gos, it is a lot easier to put in a ton more volume and play on auto pilot. I plan to do this, but wouldn't be suprised if I ditch the idea.

Wish me luck.

Galleria

I had a laptop. It was a piece of shit, but it held sentimental value to me because it embarked on a journey into professional poker with me. I hated the fucking thing, but I would play on it anyway, because it felt comfortable. Sadly, a beer (Brooklyn Brown) was spilled on the keyboard, frying the motherboard. All of the hand histories that I saved have been lost, along with music and other things that are less important. I was gonna smash it into a ton of tiny pieces and put it inside a transparent case and keep it on display in my room. I'm not going to do that, in hopes of it resurrecting some day.

Today I went to the mall and bought a new laptop. I asked the Best Buy associate which laptop he would buy if he were to buy one right now. I believed that he was being truthful to me and not selling the one with the highest profit margin, so I bought it. I also bought an Xbox 360 with 4 games, an extra controller, a guitar controller, and a pack of gum. I bought Street Fighter IV, Major League Baseball 2k9, NBA Live 09, and Guitar Hero World Tour. I'm not allowing myself to open it until I spend 90 minutes at the gym.

Doing Alright

I haven't been doing well in relation to maintaining a solid balance with my daily (or weekly) activities. I'm mixing in a daily workout at the YMCA with my routine. I have been slacking in that area, as well as poker. However, I have been drinking a lot.

Toward the end of the week, I ventured through Cambridge and Allston with a friend that I met last summer, Mark. We stopped for a beer at almost every bar in the area with a decent beer menu (Cambridge Common, Sunset, People's Republik, etc.). He's an all around nice guy, and knows his fair share about beer. We ended the night at Sunset with June, John, Andy among others. I had not seen most of them in a while, and it was fun to catch up with them while drinking good beer (for free).

On Monday, a friend that I met while in Asheville, NC flew up here from Florida. We hung out and talked for a few nights while we were in Asheville, exchanging contact info and the likes. I've been enjoying myself a lot while she was here. The bulk of our activities involved drinking, but we also bowled, people watched in the North End, shopped at Urban Renewal, and did other things that I cannot recall. I had a bunch of ideas for being a "tour guide" to someone that has never been to the city, but things got messy nightly, largely due to alchohol.

After dropping her off at the train station for her miniature journey through northern New England, I played pick up basketball at the YMCA. I was pleasantly surprised in my ability to keep up with players in a lot better shape than I.

I've been really lazy about poker, but won a tournament for $3,500 and am up $2,200 in HUHU. Knock on wood.

EDIT: I also got in a verbal altercation with David Pham, a terrible HUHU player. There is a tentative date for a grudge match.

Swing of Things

I never really planned on taking a break from poker. It's just that I have been super busy.

Warning: The following words may not make sense to you. Or they might have meaning to you, but may not make sense in the context below. I will do my best to describe in a concise manner, making it comprehensible for those who are unfamiliar with poker.

I play poker for a living, as most of you know by now. My goal is to make money. However, my success is not measured in $ (American dollars). I measure in terms of big bets, which will now be referred to as BBs.

In the specific games that I play, a BB is either $16 or $20. For example:

Sang: Hey Rich, I was admiring your raw and intuitive skill to take money from people on the internet. How much money did you end up making this session?

Me: I lost 30 BBs to this spewtard.


I was playing 8/16. A BB is 2 big blinds. The big blind is 8. 8 x 2 = 16. 16 x 30 = 480. I lost $480. My win rate is 5 BBs for every 100 hands I play.

In the specific poker game that I play (Heads Up Limit Holdem), it is theoretically probable to have a 500 BB downswing, while playing on your A+ game at all points throughout. 500BB x $16 = $8,000. There are definitely kinks in my game to work on as well as some rust that I need to shake off. However, I have convinced myself that I am in the midst of a downswing.

With that being said, I could do two things about this:

1. I could take my new car down to Florida and build a house making virtually no money, but likely enjoy myself with a couple friends. I have a few friends down there that I could visit, as well. I'd have to leave my family and friends for a while (in a time when I am needed). Lots of birthdays, an important court date, sick relatives, etc.

2. I could battle through this temporary mental block that I have developed with poker. I should be thankful for what I am capable of. Certainly shouldn't be complaining about it.

2/23/09 - 2/26/09

I arrived in Asheville, North Carolina at 5:00AM on Monday after driving a utility van from Boston to here, making no rest stops in between. My friend Darrick was planning to stay with his older sister, Stacy for a week or so before heading to Florida to help his father build a house. He, Alyssa, and I made it here without any incidents (and I didn't have to drive at all).

Stacy lives in a 3 bedroom house with 2-3 other roommates. Greg (Lance Armstrong's former personal chef, a NY Times best selling author, and a stand up comedian from Atlanta), a southern girl who's name I cannot recall, and her boyfriend. The house is a very cozy and organized place, but my belongings, along with Darrick's, are sprawled throughout the living room.

On the first night, we all went to a Goodwill clearance center to find costumes for a Mardi Gras party the following night. Darrick's sisters are both artists, and took it very very seriously as I was gonna sifting through the different bins casually. From there, we drank at this Irish pub called Tolliver's as the sisters went to go see Marley and Me. I checked out a quaint tattoo parlor next door, but wasn't feeling it, otherwise I would have went through with my idea.

2 blocks from the Irish pub, was a trendy bar with a pool table and tons of people our age. Darrick played a few songs for their open mic night and did a great job. The bar was called Westville Pub. At this point in the night I had been drinking heavily because of issues I have back home, which directly effects me the rest of the night. I felt like trying to meet new people, in order to force me to forget about problems I have.

At this specific bar, the majority of the patrons were drinking in large groups. Because I am incapable of pronouncing my "R's" properly, I feel like I was viewed as an alien. Further into the night, I noticed a girl writing in her journal, drinking whisky and coke(?). This was likely my best bet to exchange life stories, but we left soon after for reasons unknown.

When we got back to Stacy's house, her roommate Greg was leaving for a bar a few blocks away called The Admiral. Because of my mild intoxication, I asked him if he was cool with me joining. I would normally not in a sober state. I don't know. Maybe. Darrick and I joined him for a whole bunch of beers. We talked about poker (ha), his stand up comedy career, and other personal stories and problems we have. People love to talk about themselves.

The girl who was writing in her journal at the previous bar, was sitting alone at a booth, still writing. I made it a goal of mine to find a cigarette for Darrick (you can smoke in Asheville bars!). I first went to a table full of lesbians (starting from the ground up) and acquired one cigarette. This was an eventual segway to a dead end conversation. My intox-o-meter was probably close to an 8/10 at this point. I sit at the booth of the girl that I noticed before and make a fool of myself. Not a direct quote but, "HEY I NOTICED YOU WRITING IN YOUR JOURNAL FROM AFAR. CREEPY AMIRITE?" Before long, Greg, Darrick and I are sitting at her booth, telling jokes, etc. I recall talking about Maine, college, spirituality, sex, Asheville, music, among other things, I'm sure. We ended up exchanging contact information, and met up a couple days later.

Woke up with a sick, sick, hangover. Went to breakfast at a mom and pop southern diner called The Stock Yard. A lot of things happened on this day. Mardi Gras, etc. I'm going to leave this day out for now.

Yesterday.
Sent things out at the Post Office.
Drove around aimlessly with Darrick and Alyssa.
Tattoo parlor, and Mexican restaurant with magician waiter.
Nap.
Not-so-authentic BBQ restaurant.
The Admiral for 18 jukebox songs and 2 drinks.
Westville Pub to meet with Danni the Journal Girl.
Hung out in van and talked about everyone's relationship problems.



Godspeed.

Recap

I put in a "great deal" (no pun intended) of poker volume this month. I played a tiny bit less than I wanted to do online, but I made up for it by playing a lot live. I am +350 at this poker game called Highgate. Although I don't play No Limit very often anymore, the players that frequent this game are horrible. Even the winning regulars are horrible. I like the people that run the game and I think they may like me, so I feel comfortable there.

I made one trip to Foxwoods with Darrick, resulting in 1 mediocre session of 10/20 and 3 phenomenal sessions of 20/40. I was playing really well and knew where I was at in almost every situation. I am +$3,750 at Foxwoods this year.

I came back from CT because of my nana's funeral and wake (not in that order). Because of some petty feuds between family members, I was expecting some crazy shit to go down at one point. I was right. A brawl ensued with my brother and one my cousins claiming that he "will hit a woman" or something to that effect. I was wasted, and all I remember is yelling.

Its strange that situations such as a dying family member can bring together (or separate) a family. I now feel like I know part of my family that I wouldn't have been able to recognize months back. Good times.

Live poker: +$4,100
Online poker: +$10,900 (w/ cake poker that doesn't show up on my graph)
Staking: -$900

Cambridge/Charlestown/Davis/Fanuiel Hall

I had dinner with Andy at Cambridge Common a couple nights ago. I originally planned on talking to him about San Francisco because I plan to visit and possibly live there starting in June. We ended up talking about poker, my recent success (pros and cons) and about his job. After seeing John for a minute, we met with June at Grendel's. Solid time.

Last night, June and I checked out The Burren for a folk night they run on Sundays. They had a band from Minneapolis playing on stage in the back. They were really fun. There was a band that set up in a round booth in the front. I really enjoyed them a lot and plan to go next Sunday in hopes to hear them again. It was a really unique atmosphere. I love that place.

While watching Mystic River with June (we've been on a Sean Penn bender), I noticed that some scenes were shot on one of the mail routes I would frequently deliver to in Charlestown. Pretty sure June thought I was crazy until I drove over to Russell St and proved myself.

Tonight I had dinner at the Union Oyster House. My 3rd favorite restaurant (and the oldest in the country). I had the fisherman platter. Sounds lame, but the fried seafood at this establishment goes unparalleled. June ordered the lobster ravioli and that was equally as delicious.

Oh and I'm riding quite a heater. Aside from the graph, I'm +$900 on Cake. Playing well and running well.

Drinks

This is my 2009 graph thus far (+1k on Cake).

Bars that I have consumed alchohol at over the past 3 days:

Monty's (Lynn/Swampscott line)
Lido (Lynn)
Barry Park (Lynn)
Flat Top Johnny's (Kendall)
Tommy Doyle's (Kendall)
Whitney's (Harvard)
Grendel's Den (Harvard)
Charlie's Kitchen (Harvard)
Cambridge Common (Porter)

FTP Red Name Pros

As you can see from the chatbox, Maciek Gracz refuses to play me at small stakes. Maciek Gracz is a "Full Tilt Pro." I find satisfaction in this.

Ideas

I haven't play as much live poker as I would like. All of the clubs around here, spread 1/2-2/5NL and never have any LHE. As a result of this, I've decided to fuse an upcoming vacation with a solid couple sessions. There are a lot of spewy 30/60 games in LA, but I really have no desire to visit there. I'm still trying to piece together what I want to do. Regardless, I intend to play the 20/40 at Foxwoods on a more regular basis. I haven't played much at all this month but this is my graph thus far for the year. 2009 gogogogogo.